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Snyder is a Weirdo

9/7/2012

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Snyder is a weirdo.  Part of his weirdness is his phobias:

1. Hot Air Balloons
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There's a little local company that does hot air balloon rides, and sometimes they go right over our pasture.  Obviously, this is terrifying, especially when the brightly colored moving object in the sky goes WOOOOSH when they turn the burner on.  So Snyder must run around in circles barking his butt off until it goes away, thereby saving all of our lives and ruining those poor people's peaceful and expensive hot air balloon ride.

2. Water
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Snyder has two issues with water - the first is that he's very dense, so he sinks like a dead body tied to cinder blocks in water.  The other is that he HATES getting wet because he gets cold very easily like some sort of tiny female baby.

Example #1:
Lady and Jack are swimming in the pond, fetching sticks and generally having a great time.  Snyder is running in a circle around the pond, frantically barking at them as if to say, "YOU ARE GOING TO DIE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! GET OUT OF THERE! DEAR GOD PLEASE SOMEONE SAVE THEM!"

Example #2:
It's raining when we wake up in the morning.  I open the door to let the dogs out, and Jack and Lady head out to pee and poop.  Snyder stops dead in the doorway.  Stares at the wet ground and the rain falling.  Stares at me.
"Go on," I say.
"No, it's fine," he says.
"No really, you need to go out," I say.
"I can hold it.  I have great bowel and bladder control," he says.
"Do you remember when you secretly ate a 50lb bag of chicken feed, then I unknowingly put you in your crate while I went to work for the next 8 hours?" I say.
"We do not speak of that time," he says, still refusing to leave the dry doorway.

3. Puppies
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Jack loves puppies, Lady hates puppies, but Snyder... Snyder is scared of puppies.  He runs away from them, and if they persist (cause puppies are pretty persistent), then he growls at them and then hides behind me.  It's amusing to watch Maserati go over to Sny while he's lying on the floor chewing on a bone.  She'll prance on over to him, his eyes will get really wide, she'll climb on him, and his hackles will go up, she'll steal his bone, and he'll growl then run over and hide under my legs while Masi runs after him.  Poor Snydog, defeated by tiny adorable creatures of adorableness.

4. The Moon
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I learned about this one today.  This morning, like every morning, I went for a walk with the dogs.  I had Famous on a leash, Masi chasing at our heels, and Snyder, Lady, and Jack running ahead.  All of a sudden, Snyder came to a stop, raised his hackles, and barked like crazy - it was exactly the image of a pit bull that would make a would-be robber turn around and run, crapping his pants and throwing money and jewels at us in the hopes we'd forgive him and contain our vicious dog.  I was sure we were about to be attacked by a bear, or a coyote, or some sort of coyote-bear hybrid.  But no.  Upon closer inspection, Snyder was staring directly at the moon.  I had to literally drag him by his collar back into the house to get him to stop.  It wasn't even a full moon, just a normal moon-bit!  And I'm pretty sure he's seen the moon before.  He's 1.5 years old.  The moon has been there every. Single. Day.  *shakes head*  Snyder is a weirdo.
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